The Amazing Adventures of the Rangers of Araluen
by MetalSetter
Summary: Halt and Crowley teach their younger friends the rules of the Ranger Corps. and why everything is as it is. But sometimes, apprentices just can't learn without getting in trouble. Minor curse words.
1. Chapter 1: Apprentices May Not Think

**THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE RANGERS**

**Lesson 1: Apprentices do not have the right to think. **_**Ever.**_

"Hey, Halt? I have an idea for playing a prank on Crowley and Gilan!" Will gushed out the plan before Halt could get out a word. It left Halt with a raised eyebrow, obviously.

"Will. Boy. Listen to me. No. Just… _no._" Halt ordered. Seeing his apprentice about to reply with that positively desperate look on his face, the Ranger added, "They'd surely make our lives terrible if we actually _did_ carry out that nonsensical thought of yours."

"_But Halt-_"

"We need to work a little more on your speed when it comes to archery anyways. Go outside, I'll be there in a moment." Completely ignoring the fact he'd interrupted Will, Halt finished going over the document he'd acquired. God, he hated paperwork.

LATER THAT SAME DAY

Sighing, he reclined back in the wooden chair, his boot-clad feet resting on the table and a mug of coffee in his hands. It had been a relatively, long, boring, usual, all-too-normal day.

And now Gilan was bored. *

He'd come to Redmont, temporarily, at the request of Crowley. All that paperwork he'd had was finished, he'd practiced with his bow and his sword- heck, he'd had so much free time he'd been able to make the room he was staying in _sparkle._ Last time he'd checked, stone walls and floors did, in fact, notcome even remotely close to sparkling.

_I'm stuck here, supposedly on a mission, while Halt and Will could take care of it? What is this world coming to when-_ A knock interrupted his inward ranting. Getting up and moving towards the door, he reached out to open it and-

"GILAN! Gilan we have a plan!" Will barreled into him, nearly crushing him with the surprise embrace. What in God's name was he talking about?

When Crowley walked in-no, more strutted in semi-innocently- he was reduced to merely looking at him, eyebrow raised.

"It's just a small plan for revenge on Halt. But I figured since nothing is really going on in the kingdom requiring our attention; why not pester him a little? You know, to get him back for all the times he's made _us_ look like fools." He added the last part as a small half-lie to convince the young man further.

As he looked at his two friends, a large, mischievous grin took the place of his formerly blank expression.

"Then why don't we get the details figured out before he catches on?"

THE NEXT MORNING

Halt woke up early. Blearily looking around the simple room, he wondered why. Nothing seemed out of place, no strange home invasion, Will hadn't snuck in. Then he heard laughing from the main room. Now who could that possibly be at this hour?

Pulling on his everyday outfit, he hurried into the room only to find Crowley, Gilan, and Will staring at him with blank expressions.

Silence. Until Halt decided to break it.

"…What are you doing here? Much before the very crack of dawn?" Suddenly Gilan and Will were attempting not to break out into laughter. Crowley had himself under much better control, but couldn't hold back a sly smile.

"Good morning, Halt. Isn't it just a day of… colorful variety?" His friend spoke. What does he mean by "colorful variety?" Shrugging it off he poured himself a cup of coffee. After dealing with the humorous glances and evil smirks, Halt decided he'd had enough.

"I'll just… go get some things from the market… Just _don't_ burn the house down."

"We won't, Halt." Gilan answered."We have our own plans for today. You know, blending in and all that." Casting a final suspicious stare at his former apprentice, the confused Ranger left the cabin. The remaining three had completely emotionless faces as they listened to him saddle up Abelard, mutter a few words to his horse about "the world is full of idiots", and ride away. Then he was out of earshot; everyone cracked up laughing in the small wooden structure.

"O-Oh my… my _God!_"

"_He-didn't-even-notice!_"

"When he does… he'll kill us!"

"Yeah! I know!"

Of course, Halt the Ranger had no idea that his apprentices and friend were talking-much less what about-, and by the time he reached town, half the population had already heard of the "strange choice" Halt had taken. Word spread faster than a wildfire, and by the time he reached the gates of Castle Redmont, Halt was outright laughed at by one of the newer guards on duty.

Halt clenched his teeth and growled, "Can I help you?"

"N-No i-it's nothing! Nothing… Nothing at all!" The guard kept on snickering to himself as Halt passed grumpily. _What the devil is going on with these people? They act as though I've done something along the lines of wearing a dress!_ When the stable boy took Abelard from Halt, he looked at him for a second before shaking his head and shuffling off.  
By the time Halt had reached Baron Arald's office, the latter had heard of Halt's new look and was in denial the stoic, grim, ever-serious man would do such a thing to his hair and beard. Unfortunately, when said man walked in, he was proven wrong.

"Halt! What have you done to your hair! You look like a damn fairy!" Raising an eyebrow Halt asked for a small mirror. His jaw dropped when he saw what his closest friends had done to his hair.

"WHY is my hair a rainbow!" Halt all but screeched it out.

THREE HOURS LATER

AFTER A LONG TALK WITH THE BARON AND HALT

"…Will?"

"Yes, Crowley?"

"We are never taking your advice, or any apprentice's for that matter, for anything again."

"…Normally I'd argue. But I think you're right this time."

"I can't feel my feet." Gilan moaned as his poor legs began to experience the same treatment as his feet. "When I get free, I'm taking a nice long walk for the sake of them."

Crowley thought a moment then sighed. "What if you can't use your feet?"

"…No idea."

Meanwhile, inside the cabin, Halt was unhappily attempting to cover up the dye with ink. And it was painstaking work. At least he wasn't hanging upside down at the moment. The thought almost made Halt smile.

_Almost._

_**Should I write more of these little lessons things? Reviews are appreciated, but not necessary.**_

_***Gilan being bored is a bad thing. A very very bad thing. Almost as bad as depriving a Ranger of their coffee. It's that bad.**_

_**And Will thinking up ideas of how to prank people is worse than stealing a Ranger or coffee addict's coffee. Really. **__**Although his idea was pretty darn creative.**_


	2. Chapter 2: Never Mess With Halt's Coffee

**THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE RANGERS**

**Lesson 2: It is strictly forbidden, for your own sake, to mess with a Ranger's coffee/coffee supply.**

Gilan watched grumpily as his new mentor sipped on a cup of coffee. _What's so good about a little coffee? It probably tastes horrible._ The apprentice continued his chore of sweeping the floor of the entire cabin. Then a thought came to him. _He's doing it to have an excuse to be lazy! While I'm slaving away with the most ridiculous chores, he's just scribbling down a few words on paper! _Standing the broom up against the wall, he marched up to Halt.

"I know what you're doing here! You're just doing that as an excuse to not do any _real _work!"

"…What?"

"Stop drinking coffee!" As these words came out Halt became silent and slowly turned his head to face Gilan. A dangerous light danced in his eyes. No Ranger that had any respect would let his own apprentice tell him not to drink coffee. Much less Halt.

"And what if I _don't_? Hmm? What will you do then? Make me?"

"Yes!" Gil almost regretted the word when it left his mouth, but he knew he couldn't take it back now.

"Well, I'd just love to see you try. Run along now, go do your chores; I have important paperwork to finish." Turning, he added, "Also, I think you should scrub the kitchenware _again_. It's a little dull for my taste."

Muttering, Gilan went to repeat his chore. All the while running plans through his head. On one hand, he could always ruin the current coffee supply and then vanish, leaving Halt with no way to get more coffee unless he went to the store himself. No, he'd figure that out too quickly. What about- no you can't ask the shop-owner to stop selling coffee. But maybe… maybe he could get people to buy so much coffee that Halt wouldn't be _able _to buy any more! Brilliant!

"Halt? Do you need anything from the market?"  
"Why? Are you going?"

"Only if my _mentor _needs anything."

"Well, we could use some more supplies I suppose… Give me a moment. I'll write it down." Gilan waited impatiently for his mentor to finish and then he took off on the relatively long walk to the village outside of Redmont Castle.*

ONCE AT THE VILLAGE

Arriving at the outskirts of town, Gilan began looking for some people to tell about what he'd figured out.

"Hey! Hey, you!" He ran up to a red-haired woman who looked to be in her mid thirties. "Miss, it's a miracle!"

"Excuse me?"

"Drinking coffee makes you live five-ten years longer! Someone as pretty as you should get some! Spread the word to your friends and family!" The woman looked at him for a second and then broke into a huge grin.

"Oh my! I _should_ go get some! Thank you sweet-heart for telling me!" She practically skipped away, and off towards the market. One person down, dozens to go.

It turns out a few people didn't believe him, but Gilan thought it was okay as he proudly walked to the market. But his jaw almost hit the floor when he saw anyone who sold coffee was over-crowded with people. A smirk replaced his shocked expression and he continued to the nearest stall selling vegetables.

Halt would be in for a huge surprise, in about two days. He'd run out of coffee beans and have to buy more, only to find there _isn't _any more! It was pure genius! Halt would have never expected _Gilan _to figure it out.

Only, oblivious to poor Gil, he would. And when he did, he could expect a very angry Halt to deal with. But, as was stated, Gilan didn't know this.

TWO DAYS LATER

"Gilan!" Halt shouted as he stormed in a quiet-or not-rage up to the cabin door. Swinging the screeching door open, he ignored it slam behind him. Gilan had gone _too far. _"GILAN!"

"Yeah?" Gil timidly came out of his room and looked at Halt with an innocent smile on his face. In a few seconds, Halt had grabbed a hold of Gilan's collar and brought them face to face. Gilan's expression changed to one of fright.

"Do you have _any _idea what you've done?" Gilan shook his head but avoided eye contact. "Now that I don't have any coffee, do you know what you'll be doing?" Again, the apprentice shook his head. "Well, quite frankly the nearest village is out of coffee beans. So, as this is_ your_ fault," He stated laying extra emphasis on the word "your", "_You're_ going to go to the next nearest one and bring back some coffee beans." He paused to let it sink in.

"A-and where is it?" the boy asked quietly.

"Oh, only about… 14 miles from here?"

"_14 miles?_"

"Yes, it should take you about 4 ½ hours to get there and the same to get back at an average pace. Maybe a couple to find a stall selling good coffee beans. Now, if you hurry that's 12 hours. Don't stop along the way, don't waste time, oh, and don't forget to not buy anything except the coffee beans. I expect you to be back by 7 in the afternoon." Giving his apprentice a small map he'd marked, a loaf of bread about the size of three fists, and a canteen of water, he began prodding Gil towards the door. Without saying good bye he shoved his apprentice out the door and shut it behind him.

Yeah. Gilan hated that day to say the least.

_**Well, there's Chapter 2. I have a few more ideas for future chapters, but adding some to the list would be lovely. **_

_**What do you guys think of apprentice!Gilan? Is he goofy enough? And is Halt more in character, or should I change a few things? Reviews are appreciated, by not necessary.**_


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